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Saturday, June 19, 2010

The Crash

06/19/10



It's Saturday Centus day again!  Our Prompt:  

It was Fathers Day, 1984, when I heard that voice in the hallway... You will find it in italics in this little story I wrote around it.




We didn’t know our daddy.  He died in 1955 when I was six, and Mama never forgave him, wouldn’t even grieve.  I never heard her utter the word “dead” in the same sentence with his name.                  

It was Fathers Day, 1984, when I heard that voice in the hallway... It was my baby brother, my favorite, John, now a father himself.   Then came the crash.

I scurried to the hall to find Mama, on her knees, arms wrapped round herself, rocking and weeping, surrounded by a pool of red stones.

“What happened?”

“She finally let it go, and her heart crashed onto the floor and broke into a million pieces.”



This post is linked to Saturday Centus. Button on the left!

14 comments:

Cheryl said...

Powerfully done, Charlotte.

Bookie said...

Oh, well done!

My name is PJ. said...

WOW!! Fresh and stirring.

Sue said...

Oh, I like this. Very much!

=)

Jewel said...

Wow....another powerful prompt entry.

mbkatc230 said...

Beautifully done Claudia. What wonderful imagery. Such a great use of this weeks prompt. Kathy

Viki said...

What very descriptive words when Mama finally let go. How wonderfully symbolic the red stones and Mama's heart breaking. Excellent work this week.

easternsparkle said...

Very descriptive - I heard the crash, well written.

Vicki said...

Wow, to hear a heart break....

cjschlottman said...

To all of you, Thanks for your comments. I am still amazed that good writers like my work!

Tina said...

This was really good. Heartfelt, and bittersweet. Nicely done! And thanks so much for visiting at Life is Good.

Christy said...

I really like this, it was like being there.

Tgoette said...

Wow, an amazing job! So visual and heartfelt! Excellent!

Jenny said...

Claudia! Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! I loved this imagery. Really powerful.