This publication is the exclusive property of cj Schlottman, and is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this blog may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, cj Schlottman. All rights reserved.

Please Visit My Other Blogs!

Monday, December 6, 2010

My Christmas Elf @ Small Stories and Stuff - The Truth

Before I publish my second Saturday Centus of the week, a word of explanation is in order. My son, Parrish, is 41 and suffers from schizoaffective disorder. The simplest way to explain it is to say it is an unfortunate combination of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. You will find the first post here.






CHRISTMAS ELF - THE TRUTH

She wanted a happy ending so fantasized one. The last paragraph was a lie. The lights were so overwhelming that he sat and cried. They went back to the attic.

The weekend was a series of intermittent confusion and hallucinations and perseverations about every conceivable subject. He wept often, woke her in the night for coffee and company. At Wal-Mart, he spoke only Spanish. He sat in the kitchen while she made chocolate mousse and jambalaya.

Today he was eager to go “Home.” His safe place is no longer with her.

Her heart is shattered.

11 comments:

Judie said...

I can only imagine how your heart aches. The most important thing is to know in his "home" he is happy. What more could a mother want?
xoxo

Cheryl said...

That he has a safe place is a miracle. That it no longer is you is heartbreaking.

Teresa said...

This is so sad and heartbreaking for a parent, but I'm glad he does have a safe place.

Kat said...

I am sitting here stunned CJ. This is so heartbreaking, but you write with such clarity and emotion I feel like I'm right there with you. Amazing the way you've conveyed the entire time in so few words. Kat

Sue said...

This is both stunningly beautiful as a written piece and shatteringly sad as a reality.

I'm so sorry, CJ. Every mother wants to be the "safe place" for her child. We usually cede that role to a husband or wife and not a mental illness.

I hope you can find ways to join him in his safe place. I have a feeling you belong there, as part of it.

Hugs.

=)

Malisa said...

I am praying for you and your shattered heart...and for your son who is seeking safety and comfort. Holidays are tough for everybody and even tougher for some. May you find happiness in the small moments this Christmas.

I just posted by story. Please stop by and read.

Malisa

Rek said...

A poignant story and heart breaking ending....at least he has a "safe" home and a mom who worries about him...

Viki said...

I'm sorry it didn't go as well as you wanted. Even though your heart is shattered, I hope you can take some comfort that he has a "safe place".

gautami tripathy said...

Hugs to you....

Tgoette said...

What a wonderfully written piece, CJ. It really bursts with sadness and frustration. He is fortunate to have found his safe place. Sad that it is not with you. My heart goes out to you this Christmas.

Jenny said...

CJ. What a stunning perfect gem of emotion you have captured in these few words.

This is really a Wow for me.

You are an amazing writer.

Thank you.