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Friday, April 29, 2011


Each week, Melissa, over at “Making Things Up” hosts a meme entitled "six word fridays." She gives the participants a prompt with which to write a six word sentence, a poem with six-word lines, a poem of six can get the idea. You can read all about it and join in the fun by clicking on the "six word fridays" button on my sidebar. Surprisingly, I am posting on time this week!

This week’s prompt is “last.” Where shall I go with it? I think it fits in nicely with today’s post on “The Red Sweater,” so here’s my contribution.

She sighs as she exhales
tugs in another breath
lets it go haltingly.
Moving slowly away
slipping past us as she
steers toward the other side
a halo rims her head,
scalded and discolored
victim of x-rays aimed
at tumors in her brain.
Brown skin aglow against
ecru colored bedclothes
she seems to sleep soundly
in the grip of coma
protected against pain
taking in her last breaths
dreaming perhaps of her
sixteenth birthday party.

© cj Schlottman


Belinda said...

It's so painful to watch someone suffer through extreme pain. So much so that it sometimes justifies wishing them their last breath...

Fantastic writing, cj.

Sue said...

Such a sad situation, CJ.

Well done.

iseeyoulookingatme said...

Oh, CJ, this is so wrenching. So, beautifully put!!

ayala said...

so sad...written well!

Colleen said...

Seeing someone in this state is so heartbreaking and painful, and your writing evokes those feelings. I really like the way you ended it-the possible glimpse of a happier time.

Molly @ Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce said...

Wow, cj, you have taken a painful moment and made it beautiful.

2bdancing said...

letting go is perhaps the hardest thing of all. From both perspectives here, I think. But the cessation of pain and the possibility of heaven or rebirth and beauty and joy make it possible.

melgallant said...

Oh CJ - this post makes me tearful. I hope she dreams of her sixteenth birthday party too.

Melissa said...

A beautiful record of heart-rending moments.