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Saturday, November 26, 2011

Fries @ Small Stories and Stuff

This Centus will be my last for a while.  No, I’m not bailing out for good.  I have a new blog, and I am spending  more time on essays and poems.  I need to get “My Mismatched Life” off the ground, but that does not mean that I won’t be around to read some posts here and try to reply to as many as I can.  Just think of me as part of the wallpaper.  Those of you who have been with me a while, please visit and comment and/or email me constructive criticism - about format, content, anything you see that I can improve.

Now for my contribution for today:

Black Friday had steamrolled over Susan at her job at the Food Court’s most popular fast food spot.  The place was mobbed, her head spinning all day, punching in orders at such lightening speed that her fingertips were sore.
She pulled off her greasy uniform, and without a glance at the shower, fell into bed.  Sleep was a black hole, and she rode it’s winds into oblivion.  
“Bzzzzzzz.  Bzzzzzzzz.  The alarm clock sounded.  She pulled the cover over her head, praying it was a dream.
Then the phone chimed in.  She groped for it, pulling it to her ear.
“Would you like fries with that?”

Monday, October 31, 2011

Can't You See? - A Saturday Centus

look hard  
no   harder  
see them now?  
keep watching
they are there
squit real hard
shiny points
golden twinkles
don’t see them?
don’t you believe?

© 2011 cj Schlottman

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A Little Story Seed - A Saturday Centus

The Saturday Centus Button on my sidebar isn't working as it should, so to go to the latest entries, Click Here.

I planted a little story seed from Jenny’s garden and watched it begin to grow.  The first shoot was covered in nouns.  Then came pronouns and adjectives, followed closely by verbs and adverbs.  The last leaves to sprout were interjections, conjunctions and prepositions.
The bones of a story stood before me.  My head was overflowing with them, and they began to stream from my ears, eyes and nose.  When I opened my mouth, a flock of adverbs flew out in formation, ready for the page.
Then they all settled on my keyboard and I began to type. 
The End

Monday, October 24, 2011

I Never Did Learn

Trouble in Blogger-Land again.  When I click on any Saturday Centus button, it will only make me to last week's meme.  I finally backed into this week's through another blog, so I'm posting last week's little story here.  Hope you enjoy it.

Jenny's prompt for Saturday Centus last week is this a photo.  

I know it's Monday morning, but I worked all weekend.  That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it.  Most of you know how Saturday Centus works, but in case you are new, click on the Saturday Centus button on my sidebar to learn all about it.  There you will find the other entries and links to Jenny's other blogs.  Here is my offering, which happens to be a true story:

The contrast of green leaves hanging over the porch and gray unpainted wood was startling.  Grass smelled sweet, was soft under my bare feet as I approached the rickety porch.  I stepped onto the groaning platform, the vision of my grandmother’s washing machine emerging.  
I could see myself, at five, fishing a sock from the water and feeding it into the wringer, my arm following up to my arm pit as my feet left the floor.  
Screams brought Lizzie lumbering from the clothesline, and she unhinged the ringer, freeing my bruised but unbroken arm.
“Child, you’ll never learn, will you?”

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Saturday Centus 10/02/2011

"The number you have reached is no longer in service." 
That is Jenny Matlock’s prompt for this week’s Saturday Centus.  Each week, she gives us Centusians a prompt from which to write a story or poem.  The catch is, we have to produce a piece that is no longer than 100 words, excluding the number of words in the prompt.  So, this week, we have 110 words.  To learn all the rules and read the other submissions, just click on the Saturday Centus Button on my Side Bar.  Thing is, I don’t know what to do with this prompt.  (Happens all the time, but I somehow muddle through).
And I Don’t Care
"The number you have reached is no longer in service."  
More likely, my brain is no longer in service.  That’s the second time today I’ve misdialed the same number.  
Yesterday, I found my Blackberry in the pantry and opened the fridge to retrieve my just cooked Lean Cuisine, which was, of course, in the microwave.
I couldn’t find my debit card, and finally found it in the back pocket of my jeans, which were in the laundry hamper.
I forgot to fetch the mail, got lost on the way to Kroger, and, oh, I forgot to take my medicine.
My brain is no longer in service.  (And I don’t care).

Sunday, September 25, 2011

cj Gets it Right @ Small Stories and Such

“cj, what were you thinking?  It’s not like you to ignore the rules.  I am very disappointed in you.  I clearly stated that the exercise would be in dialogue, and you wrote a fanciful poem instead.  You will have to write, ‘I will always read the rules carefully’ 100 times on the blackboard.”  

“Please, Mrs. Jenny, may I do it another time?  I have softball practice, and Coach will have my hide if I miss it.”  

“Young lady, you are responsible for your own actions and the consequences thereof.  You may be accountable to Coach, but right now, I own you.  Start writing.”   


“Jenny, you’ve had one drink already.  Are you seriously ordering another Martini?”  

“I’m seriously ordering another Martini.  You don’t know what a challenge and a pain in my backside that Schlottman girl can be.   

© cjschlottman 2011

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Saturday Centus has come around once more, and Jenny has given us 156 words to come up with a piece based on the prompt, “Are you seriously ordering another martini?”  Other than the extended word count, the rules are as usual.  Don’t know the rules?  Just click on the Saturday Centus button on my sidebar to learn all about this crafty meme and read all the entries.  You’ll find links to Jenny Matlock’s other blogs as well.  If you’ve never played with us on Saturday, please come join us!
My offering for today.

i seriously am
martinis are my drug of choice  
i like mine made with ketel one 
frosty cold and straight up   garnished 
with two olives   not fancy ones
   green ones with pimiento inside
the masterpiece arrives in a 
little silver shaker on a 
black enamel tray   the waiter
shakes it and in a display that 
leaves me breathless   pours the elixir 
into my glass   crystal   of course
when the icy rim touches my
lips   i close my eyes and exhale
a sigh as big as montana
i caress the rim of the glass
with my finger   stir the contents
with the olives held captive on
see-through plastic mini-swords 
i prefer my martini served
on a charger   no square paper 
napkin for my regal cocktail
and no one ever has to ask 
“are you seriously ordering
another martini?”
i seriously am
© cjschlottman 2011

Saturday, September 17, 2011

In The Ditch

My good friend Jenny Matlock has done done it now!  The thought of writing lyrics gives me heartburn.  Nonetheless, I have tried my best at this lyrical prompt, a verse to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."  The prompt is "In the Autumn."   

To find all about Jenny's creative meme, click on the Saturday Centus button on my side bar.  Once there, you can read this week's entries and follow Jenny's other blogs!

Here is my lame attempt at this week's challenge, and I do mean challenge.

In The Ditch

At this prompt I so do suck 
makes me want to run amuck. 
Jenny’s Tangent’s in the ditch 
‘cause I cannot scratch this itch. 
In the autumn air I find 
nothing that will come to mind.   

© cj Schlottman 2011

Over A Cliff

Here is my offering for Melissa's Six Word Fridays.  I'm a day late, but it seems I often am.  To learn more about this creative meme, please click on the Six Word Fridays link on my sidebar.  There you can learn all the rules and read the entries - and yes, post a piece of your own!  Today's prompt is "connect," and here is what I did with it - a poem of six syllable lines.

Over A Cliff

I am unable to 
connect the dots that form
a whole picture of
this mess that is my son.
Stories conflict   plans are 
made   then unmade   maybe
never made at all   just
fabricated in his
quest to manipulate
my world   insinuate
himself back into a
position of power
from which his illness will
infect me   bring me once
more into the cyclone 
of co-dependant craziness
he so craves and that would
drive my life like a run-
away bus straight over
the edge of a steep cliff.

Sunday, September 11, 2011



He wears a smile wide as the sky, eyes gleaming in the last of summer’s warmth.  He stands on first one foot then the other, a look of pleading at the surface of his tanned and rosy cheeks.  “Mother, May I take the ragtop for one last spin before you garage her for the winter?”  
An approving nod sends him grabbing keys, darting out the door, making a bee line for Julie’s house.  (Mother didn’t ask).
She opens the door, smiles. He takes her in hims arms, kicks the door closed as she whispers, “They won’t be home until late tonight.”
© cj Schlottman
September 11, 2011

Linked to Saturday Centus

Friday, September 9, 2011

Your Crooked Smile

There are times when I am 
moved to tears / cannot hold back
the sadness or joy that
catches in my throat /steals
my breath / chokes the words I
intend to say out loud.
The sound of your Texan’s
brogue / your bourbon laced breath
move me to open my 
heart / spill it over you
in kisses / caresses
I save for you alone.
Memories of loss move
me to the edge of
sanity   only to 
loosen their grip when you 
appear in dreams / wake
me with your crooked smile.
© cj Schlottman
September 09, 2011

Friday, September 2, 2011

Exchange @ Small Stories and Stuff

Each week, Melissa at Making Things Up hosts a meme called Six Word Fridays.  She provides a prompt from which we are to create a six word sentence or a six line poem or a poem with six syllables per line, all relevant to the prompt.  You get the idea.  There are many possibilities.  To get all the rules and read the entries, click on the Six Word Fridays button on my side bar.


my sister and I exchanged identities
she went to the stock exchange
i became an exchange student
then we decided to exchange places
we exchanged books & cookie recipes
waiting on line to exchange currency
we exchanged looks as we witnessed
a prisoner exchange at the airport
disguised as a diplomatic exchange &
we had an exchange of ideas
deciding to exchange directions & start
a recipe exchange &  drop in
at the mercantile exchange on our
way home to exchange ourselves back
© cj Schlottman
August, 2011

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Small Stories -Edited for Clarity

Most of you know the rules to for Saturday Centus, but in case you don't, click on the button on my sidebar to learn about it and read the creative entries.  There you will also find links to Jenny's other blogs.  Here is my contribution for this week:

“Surprise. I’m pregnant!”
These words rang out as my daughter Mallory popped in my kitchen door.  
My heart caught in my throat.  Pregnant?  She knew she was not supposed to get pregnant, so if this were a joke, it was a poorly thought-out one.
“But, Sweetie......”
“No buts!  I have a baby growing inside me, so don’t ruin it for me.”
“I said no buts!  All I’ve ever known for sure is that I want to be a mother.  Now I’m gonna be one.”
“Well, I'm pregnant, too.  Who’s going to take you to chemo while I’m home with morning sickness?”

© Claudia Schlottman
August 28,2011

Friday, August 26, 2011

It's Not Always Easy

It’s Six Word Fridays time again, and Melissa’s prompt is “easy.”  To learn all about this meme and read the other entries, click on the Six Word Fridays button on my sidebar.  
I’m Writing Under the Influence of Lortab, so forgive me if my words are a little slurred.  To learn about why I’m saying “Yes” to drugs, please visit The Red Sweater.  The last two posts tell the sad tale.
Now, here’s my offering for today.

not always easy
sometimes a piece of work
drips off the ends of my
fingers   slides across my
keyboard & writes itself
at others   words wedged in
creases of my right brain 
   await excavation   
   conveyance to the page
words   my dearest lovers
   my worst of enemies
serve me at their pleasure
& make of me their slave

© cj Schlottman

Saturday, August 20, 2011

If I Die Young

Yea!  Jenny gave us back the words she has been so stingy with of late.  Her Chakras must be balanced.  For whatever reason, I am glad she has regained her generous ways.  To see all the entries to this superb meme, just click on the button on my side bar.  There you will also find Jenny Matlock’s blog buttons.  Click on them.  You won’t be disappointed!  Here is my offering for today:

if i die young it will be 
at 95 / surrounded
by friends and family
as we take afternoon tea
there will be champagne on ice
lovely luscious lemon squares
salty / spicy-hot cheese straws / 
slices of soft sweet pound cake
i will hold court from my bed /
swathed with sheer silk canopies /
as yards of laughter cut from 
the bolt of my life fade to 
endless stories born of our
intertwined lives / braided of
love / woven into fine cloth 
i will smile / sip tea / wait to
take sweet kisses for each of you /
hold your warm hands in mine /  
cool now as i feel myself
shrink / grow smaller an smaller
sunshine will shimmer through thin
curtains as it begins its
descent / bathing our faces
in soft light of my dying
i will love your forever

© cj Schlottman
August 20,2011

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Trial and Error @ Small Stories and Stuff

A day late for Six Word Fridays, but that's not too bad for me.  This week, Melissa chose "trial and error" for our prompt.  To find out all about this great meme, click on the Six Word Fridays on my side bars.  You will also find the other entries there.

My contribution is short and to the goes...

After trials and errors I know
six syllables is my favorite meter.

©cj Schlottman
August 13, 2011

Meat Locker @ Small Stories and Stuff

August 13, 2011
Jenny must still be cranky.  She’s done it again - limited us to only 50 words plus the three in the prompt.  All of the other rules apply, and you can find them by clicking on the Saturday Centus button on my sidebar.  There, you will also fine the other entries.  They are well worth the time to read.  Look around at Jenny’s other blogs, too.  There’ some good stuff there.
So, Laugh out Loud is our prompt today.  This one is going to be a challange for me because I haven’t laughed, out loud or otherwise, for several days.  Maybe this will pull me out of my funk, though I really think I need more than 50 words to do it.  (Thanks, Jenny).

Here goes....

I want to laugh out loud
but I am working Saturday
stuck with Snarky Sheila
and Dastardly Dave.
Weekends are their empire
or so they think.
The atmosphere in here?
Well, you could hang meat.
Patient load is light but
mine is not.
Why's it so hard for them 
to be polite?

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Shattered Heart @ Small Stories and Stuff

This is my link to Saturday Centus, brain child of Jenny Matlock.  We usually have 100 words and to use with a prompt she gives us.  But this week, just because the weather is so hot, she has decided to allow us only 50 words.  (Thanks,Jenny).  To learn more about this great meme, just click on the button on my sidebar.  You will find some fine writing as well as links to Jenny's blogs.

Most people think "You are my Sunshine" is a happy love song, when, in truth, it is a sad love song.  Click on the video below and listen to the whole song as sung by the Soggy Bottom Boys!  Please hit the stop button when the music stops, or it will roll over to Johnny Cash and not restart The Soggy Bottom Boys. (I don't know why).

Shattered Heart

Heart shattered by your leaving
   I love you still.
Sunshine faded into night
   your face I see
through gloomy silent tears
   a moonlight mirage
aglow in the darkness.
Gone to another   you
stick to my heart
   a prickly reminder
of my loss   a sand spur
as sharp as any knife.

© cj Schlottman

PS - Jenny, I read every post from last week, and I commented on all except one.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Your Eyes

It's Six Word Friday, and I am posting on time for a change.  Please click on the button on my sidebar to find out how it works and read the other posts - maybe publish one of your own.

Your Eyes

You speak words dripping
with honey   but you lie.
Your eyes   merely mirrors
   deflect the questions in
my own   reveal nothing
of what is in your heart.

Saturday, July 30, 2011


Crafty Jenny Matlock, the Mistress of Saturday Centus, is at it again, straying from her own boundaries into the world of no prompt except a photo.  Jenny?  Is that really you?

Each week we are (supposed) to be given a prompt from which we are to write a 100 word story, not counting the prompt.  The prompt is usually a phrase, but no, not this week.  It's a photo of an egg frying on the sidewalk.  Granted I can relate to that kind of heat.  After all, I live the heat belt of Georgia.  But, Really?

To read all about this meme, click on the Saturday Centus button on my sidebar.  And don't forget to click on Jenny's name above to find out what else she is up to.  Here is my contribution.

Help!  I’m Cracking Up.

The hand that plucked me 
out of the carton 
is taking me outside.
There’s more.  
She just knocked me against 
the concrete driveway 
Ouch!  My aching yolk.
Call 911! 

She’s pulling at the crack
she made, spilling me 
onto the hot driveway
no trace of Pam.
Does she know who I am?
I can take the heat
we all know that, but 
when she starts to turn me
I will, well, go SPLAT.
A scrambled mess I’ll be
Oh, where is my dignity?
I was meant to be eaten
Sunny Side Up, you see. 

© cj Schlottman